sparkignitefire

I know I keep asking that question. It’s just crazy important. We cannot do this alone. Think about trying to move a baby grand piano by yourself. I see bulging discs, a perforated bowel and torn rotator cuff all over that. That is why we call the most reliable people we know when we have to get something done like that. We don’t call the stoners and the people who will bitch and complain the whole time. On top of homicide you would be moving the piano alone.

So now that we have that established. Who are your cut-men? These are people who will tell you how many punches the opponent has landed, they motivate you-sometimes by brute force and other times it is a whisper in your ear, they clean you up and send you back out. This is your chance to show yourself….show them you were listening. They are your biggest cheerleaders. They tell you the dress you have on makes you look pregnant (and you’re not).

Who are your cut-men?

I made a list of mine. They are people from my past and some from the present. They are bold, full of laughter, they ask the hard questions and have an expectation that you will do your best.

This morning, it was a white out here in MKE. It took a long time to get the littles to school and then I was late to my spin class. You are getting the sense from me that…that drives me crazy. I like to be on the bike warming up at least 10 minutes prior. Instead today I was 10 minutes late and I’m new and fat (it’s okay if I call myself that….not okay if you say it….got it). Guess who became a surrogate cut-man? The instructor….as soon as I opened the door, she turned to me mid rotation and said, ‘I am so glad you could make it, this is going to be a great ride’. The cut-men are everywhere, you have to see them, surrender. Best class ever. Hard …hard…hard. Loved it, loved having my body remember what it was like to push past the pain and “oh, I can back down now, I’ve done enough”. 15 more seconds, 30 more seconds, 6 more sets……it didn’t matter. I was committed.

One thing to note is the cut-men are not there to be 1. punching bags 2. at your beck and call or 3. yours alone. These are people with lives. Just like you will find yours, they are working on theirs as well. It will be your job to become someone’s CM. There is a story about Ali and he lost to Ken Norton (you would think I knew something about boxing…..not really, I love the dance of it) he was slow, got his jaw broken. Six months later they had a rematch and Ali won. The difference was his speed. The difference was he was ready. Ali was ready for the punches….to wear Ken Norton out. He took responsibility.

I’m taking responsibility.

Having what you need in place helps. Getting there can be challenging. I used to wake up and think that the world is conspiring against me. It was hard enough putting one foot in front of the other. Completing the basics was tough. How was I supposed to get back on track? That takes time and money. Neither of which I thought I had. Critical mass was approaching (this was about 6 months ago)…..literally. I remembered I was creative. I didn’t feel it, just remembered it. The key for me was not to get stuck on what I was using the creativity for. Right now it was not spending 8-10 hours a day in the painting studio it was survival-food, water and some (yes more than one) professional perspectives. You know the saying, the weight did not happen overnight….so it will not come off over night. It will take time. Like it or not. No one said you had to do it. For me the pain was becoming unbearable. This was uncontrollable pain. Not the kind I like that is managed within something glorious.

Sounds nuts right? You think Wayne Gretzky felt physically and emotionally brilliant every time he played. I’m not in his head, though I would bet in a 60 minute game he feels good for 2-3 minutes. This takes on lots of different forms. I used to (and still use) the “it’s only 15 minutes out of your whole life” routine. This game, done over and over is very powerful and when you look back on it, astounding what can be accomplished. Climbing a mountain for the most part is very dull and the same over and over. The scenery is beautiful most of the time, except when you have to climb at night. It’s tedious though. The 15 minute game becomes your best friend. When I would have a client’s sewing project to do for a deadline, the 15 minute game becomes important. I am using the 15 minute game to get my life back. The plan is in 15 minute increments. I can do that. It’s a tiny amount of time out of my whole life.

You may be not be aware of your complaining nature. Others are.

If you want to be out of pain, start small. Start by noticing your words. What do you say to others and more importantly, what do you tell yourself? Just notice. I found this uncomfortable at first. Almost crazy.

15 minutes out of your whole life.