sparkignitefire

I lost a dear friend to colon cancer today. She was 45, a mom, a wife and an incredible fighter. She laughed all the time. I can hear her laugh right now. She started her journey home and will now be forever in the flowers, the wind, the sunshine and when we do good things.

No one told me that 40 was the magic number to prepare and live without so many that I love. No one told me.

It is said that we have a finite amount of heartbeats. My question for you is what will you do with those heartbeats? When I started this, I vowed to be honest and ask for your honesty as well. Everyday I ask myself, am I living closer to what is in my heart? Shayla calls this “Perfect Practice”. Everyone’s is different and it seems to me that you can try to see if something someone else is doing works for you, eventually you will need to find your way. We start every January with the goals/intention of starting fresh, a new course….new habits. Gyms bank on this, you start, then taper off to nothing about 6 wks into your transformation. Learning about what your perfect practice can be very helpful. I figure if you are reading this, you have some self-knowledge or at least are seeking it. What are your habits everyday? Rhythms? What takes you from an aggravated 9 quickly to a 3? These are part of your PP. The gift is that you expound on these and find all the new ones that bring us closer to who we are meant to be.

One of the things that I have to check myself on all the time is where I was 10, 5, 2 years ago is not where I am now. Those things I loved, was good at and working on are not always in my circle right now. Still there, though not always accessible. I miss two hours of yoga, 5-6 days a week. Now it is one set of sun salutations in the foyer of the house, waiting for the girls to get their jackets on to go to school. Meditation happens on the toilet. Sadness happens amidst the chaos of life.

It is important to feel loss.

I have said it is the great equalizer. You can be wealthy, have an incredible career, run a sub 5 mile……loss will bring you to your knees.

For me, loss brings life forward again. My skin hums and colors become brighter.

I will see her in the music, in the earth and with every changing season.