sparkignitefire

Being underwater and seeing the sunlight at the surface.

Having one more load of laundry to do.

The one last item on your list.

Seeing the summit and knowing how long it will take to get there.

Being at peace with the death of friends, a job, what you used to be…..seeing the surface.

Anticipation is a crazy thing. For drunks or addicts is could be the thought of the fix. For athletes it’s race day. For those wading through loss it is the thought of the other side of it.

We moved very suddenly and are in a house that to say it needs work is an understatement. I will admit freely that I like it clean. Not tidy…..clean. This is hands and knees, washing the walls down, scrubbing the baseboards, getting your hands dirty clean….every week. While this plays right into the obsessive part of me, I look at this part of me as not such a bad thing. (I do not wash my hands more than bathroom and food handling) (remember I have spent 30+ days on mountains without a shower in sight) To say that the previous owners did not share my affection for clean would…let’s just leave it at that. So the anticipation of getting the house in the shape I like it taking much longer than I want.

Being underwater is scary and glorious. It’s quiet and beautiful. Keeping calm takes practice. Allowing the anticipation, sadness, hurt, rage to settle in is hard sometimes. It’s underwater and thinking that you are drowning. Remember to take care of yourself. Take a nap. Sit and meditate for 5 mins. Be quiet.

The energy created in anticipation can be perfect. In the words of one of those super hero’s…use it for good.